What is fear?
Should you or should you not?
What would happen if you did and what will happen if you don’t?
What if the person isn’t the way they seem to be?
What if they change?
The fear about the ‘what if’ about the future can have a major impact on the way to exploring relationships.
This is such a common theme of thoughts for children born or brought up in broken families or have experience witnessing relationship fall outs.
It becomes a real tough test to pass, finding someone and trusting that they’re the right one. But, we cannot know for sure and we’d be forced to quiet our mind to stop those cruel negative voice inside our head.
Fewer people than ever are getting married. It’s believed that 25% of millennials will never marry during their lifetimes.
The fear of commitment has never been more pervasive. Relationships can be a big risk, both emotionally and financially.
But the alternative isn’t all unicorns and rainbows. Spending a lifetime alone has guaranteed negatives. At least a relationship has the chance for a happy ending.
For the time being, let's accept FEAR is nothing but a False Evidence Appearing Real! How does this change the way you were thinking?
Humans are driven by fears, but many fears are irrational. It’s possible that your judgement is clouded and you’re allowing an illogical fear to steal from your future and your happiness.
All humans are able to access our untapped resources of our subconscious mind. We have it already and there’re sitting there waiting for you to discover and meticulously search for the right answers to gain refreshing awareness of your new reality.
How to address your fear of commitment and enjoy a successful relationship?
#1. TAKE CALCULATED RISK
A life lived with calculated risks is much more rewarding. Avoiding or minimising every possible risk isn’t an enjoyable way to live. Live a life that’s moving toward something rather than avoiding something.
That doesn’t mean you should marry the first attractive, funny person that doesn’t make you want to strangle them on a regular basis. But understand that relationships are never guaranteed.
Besides the weather, other people are the hardest thing in the world to control. And, you don’t want to control others when you could control your thoughts, choices and decisions.
a). What 3 things would you say you’re scared of now?
b). Would you rather have the power of time travel or the power to see the future?
c). If you could change something about you, what would it be?
#2. DETERMINE THE CAUSE OF YOUR FEAR
Understanding the origin of the fear will help you to navigate your relationships. Understanding your fear and you can address it. There are many reasons for fearing commitment:
The fear of another relationship failure. The past doesn’t have to equal the future. Determine why the last relationship failed.
Did you choose the wrong person?
Fail to communicate your needs clearly?
Create a strategy to minimise the likelihood of a recurrence!
Do you fear being vulnerable?
Casual dating is easy. Neither of you has anything invested. If it doesn’t work out, who cares? The other person didn’t really know you anyway. Allowing someone to really know you is quite a bit scarier, and you don’t have the energy to put on your best face 24/7.
There’s risk with any venture. Allowing others to see the real you is the best way to find the best partner.
Whatever fear you harbour isn’t unique to you. There are others in the same boat. Consider the cause of your fear and view the situation from a different perspective. Most of your hesitancy is from past experiences. Let them go.
#3. CONSIDER THE POSITIVE
You may be so consumed with what could go wrong that you’re not considering the advantages of being in a committed relationship. Pretend that you’re not afraid of commitment and consider what your life would be like with the right person.
If you could make one change to your relationship before you die, what would that be?
Do you believe that pure happiness exists? Have you ever felt it?
Allow yourself to have a positive mental image of a healthy relationship and how your life would change.
#4. AVOID BEING IN A RUSH
Take your time dating someone new and move along at your own pace. If the other person seems to be in a hurry to make things serious, you might want to consider finding someone new.
Desperate partners are rarely good relationship material.
Many people fear commitment due to the perception that a relationship is confining, limiting, and reduce freedom. However, the right relationship provides just the opposite. Consider how much love and support you’ll receive, which increases your confidence and self-esteem. This leads to new opportunities.
You can also have greater financial resources. You’ll also save time by not running around looking for a partner anymore. Having this one part of your life settled creates a lot of space to live.
Many people fear relationships, but allowing a fear of commitment to rule your decisions is a mistake.
Relationships are one of the most rewarding parts of life.
Allow yourself to experience all that life and other people have to offer.
